The guts of a spiritual conversation (middle part)
Principle #1: If we lose our cool, we lose.
Principle #2: It’s ok to pause.
Principle #3: We will face hard theological questions. It’s ok to lose.
The middle part of the conversation is impossible to game plan. We try to take a posture of humility and vulnerability. Principle #1 is that we don’t lose our cool.
It’s important to be sensitive to time constraints. If you’re in the middle of a “micro” conversation, it’s ok to wrap it up.
It’s helpful to refine your skills in wrapping up a conversation politely. Also, it’s good practice to let the other person have the last word. Sometimes I’ll tell people, I have to wrap this up in like 2 minutes. Is there anything you would like to say that you haven’t had a chance to express yet?
Let the other person feel the love of Christ through your attentiveness to them. Demonstrate to them that they have your undivided attention. By active listening we help them feel valued.
It’s ok to face challenging theological questions. I wish I could give you a manual that you could memorize that silences every objection about God or traditional evangelical theology.
I’ve learned to reflect on the apostle’s creed to help define most of the essential doctrines. Avoid the pitfall of making every theological opinion as essential. There are faithful believers that hold a variety of views on important theological topics beyond the apostle’s creed.
Be careful to avoid correcting every theological stumble. We grow in Godly patience. Should we entangle in every little issue, we will find it difficult to focus on topics that will help them flourish. Ask clarifying questions. Keep control of your emotions and be fully aware that you are representing Christ as an ambassador.
You must also acknowledge that there is mystery in Christian doctrine. How exactly does the Trinity work? A skilled skeptic can push any trinitarian view to the brink of nonsense. We should expect a little bit of nonsense as we are a non-trinitarian entity, nor are any of our neighbors.
Why does a Good God allow good people to suffer? Why did God not answer my prayer? I suffer greatly with a disability and I can’t see God as loving. The earth is scientifically proven to be 4.5 Billion years old, and the Genesis account only accounts for a few thousand years. I can’t go against science.
It’s impossible to satisfactorily answer every hard question with superior ideas. The point is to bring the issues up and define them. Consider, what is really a stumbling block to this person’s spiritual growth.
Once the issue is located through the conversation, only then is it revealed where the Holy Spirit and deeper theological work needs to be done. Sometimes it’s best to let them search for the answers they seek.
Don’t be surprised if Jesus comes and surprises them. The journey in seeking answers can be more formative than the satisfaction of the answer itself.
We are not winning them over to a theological system or even the total inspiration of the Bible. We are pointing them to Jesus Christ, who is the ULTIMATE truth (Logos) and he is the way and his is the life. Jesus can prove himself and we bear witness to him.
Just like Jacob wrestled with the angel of the Lord, we can rest peacefully when we let people engage Jesus with their issues.
